WHY EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD OR BAD?

 EXPECTATION AND PROBLEM

We all heard of " expect noting shall never be disappointed " but is it possible.

Is expectation is good?

Why expectations are arising?

If it is bad then how should I minimize it?

A few years ago, these types of questions put me in a dilemma but After reading dozens of books, articles and by discussing and observing my twin brother( who is a pain in the brain btw), I get to the conclusion. at the end of this blog, you will understand the true meaning of EXPECTATIONS? 

HOW TO EXPECT

  Just By practical analysis of the event of anticipation, The Science of Expectation shows the importance of happiness .it is practical to dream more than others and it is possible, expect more than others and Studies also show that it's good to have high expectations. is it mean, expecting impossible perfection is good?
  No!! Before setting up high expectations from yourself and others, be aware of your power and weaknesses. Since three angles are supporting several systems. Let me explain one by one.

1.  In the first case, you are alert of your strength and abilities but due to various conditions either you are not helping over it or if working but not willingly.
2. In this case, you are not even aware of your powers and intentions.
3. Now the ideal design, in which you are very much familiar with your attraction, ambitions, and the determination required to fulfill the same. Yet you are fighting over it fixing your heart and soul into it.

Now consider each case and the effect of having high expectations:

1. Since you aren't following what you dream so there are high odds that you might come out pressurizing yourself in the wrong way.
2. In the second method, Here you are far from the truth and disturbed about an imaginary problem. Therefore, in this case, you need to examine and search for your interests.
3. The favorable circumstance in which you can have the advantages of having high expectations from yourself contributing you are ready to do the heavy job to obtain the same.
   
   
   

MILESTONES THAT HELPS IN EXPECTATION

1)EXPECTATION AND HOPES

Some say, it is better to have hope but no expectations. I do not believe the difference between the two.
  I'm not interested in meeting people's expectations, and I'm not interested in pleasing people”. If so, why do we always expect good from others?
  I tell you why other judges but you judge others too. if you just carry the burden for your work and surrounding, if you start thinking you have zero expectations and you believe you are authorized to do anything then you start doing things otherwise you think others are regulating you. 

  2)EXPECTATION AND MENTALITY

Always be Giving and doing things without intention in return from the other personal biggest pull you ever connect in your life or business or relationships.
  In India,65-year-old Jadav Payeng has granted the name ‘The Forest Man’ in Delhi by the Government on World Earth day. In 2010, for turned a barren land of '550 hectares (over 1300 acres)' into a lush green forest all by himself. It held  30 YEARS for the land to turn into a forest. He began planting in 1979 and proceeds to do that even today. Nature never promised him extra sunlight, extra rain, or extra property then why he walks for 2 hours and travel by boat for nearly 45 min every day? I tell you, Because of his MINDSET, which common people lack. they give excuses and have an absent perspective which creates a mess.

3)NEVER EXPECT FROM OTHERS

Most of us have heard about the famous Pavlov dog experiments. Ivan Pavlov, a physiologist who won a Nobel Prize, trained dogs to salivate at the sound of a buzzer. The training was effective because the dogs had learned to expect food when they heard the buzzer.
Let's take it in our life, Why does this happen? I was happy with what I did, I became unhappy with what others did not. Was it my expectation that destroyed my happiness? Probably yes. We have more expectations from folk nearby. We expect more from those, for whom we desire to do more, beyond their anticipation. We want the same or more in return.

" I am what you think I am"- jay Shetty

4)EXPECTATIONS AND THOUGHTS

Positive thinking maybe to not expect the best to occur constantly but accept whatever happens as it is. Going distant, to avoid disappointment, the best is not to expect anything from others. The interchange may be to Improve your reality or lower your expectation.

EXPECTATIONS AND RELATION

Our relation also based on our expectation
My son should always be helpful, my wife should be beautiful and smart, relatives should love me .human define their relationship based on expectation and the nature of expectation is fractured. Expectations took birth in mind so no one can tell what you are up to. so even you put everything, you can't fill anyone's expectation and from there 'struggle' starts. every relation gets converted to struggles over time. but if human relationships are not based on expectation then my friend, it's satisfaction.

EXPECTATION AND ACCEPTABILITY

So not every relation can completely satisfy your expectation but life, security, and your pleasure are based on relationships. then why do we get most sadness in relation or why do relations turn into a struggle. when you try to change a person or decline their thoughts, is struggles and accepting them is complete satisfaction. if we just minimum our expectations or think about our thoughts or just try to change our own then is difficult to find satisfaction in your relationship. In short, acceptance is the real meaning of relationships and that's why conflicts like Mahabharata (from now 3137 BC ago)happened.

RULES OF EXPECTATION

When we realize someone expecting from us we will begin to fulfill him for likeability or respect. when you put expectations you'll change people's behavior.
Expectations (of people and yours) are often manipulated by assumptions, behaviors, reputations, time, impressions, commands, own desire, environment, leading, etc.

WHAT IS EXPECTATION

I think we were all born as twins. You and another one is an expectation, everyone will tell you to be like your brother but you will never be like him because levels of expectation increase eventually, and no matter what we can't win.
Expectation comes from IMAGINATION, PAST INCIDENCE, PEOPLE AROUND US.
When we Except not to except is just like I wanna live but don't wanna die ( which is not possible), then what? Just normalized your stuff. accept, the expectation is normal.

If you want to dig in further in psychology this article will help- https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.20754

WHAT TO DO

1.  Simply choose from a range of options, we try to maximize our utility at a given price.
2. not everything is true, even technology makes an unreal real or we can say distorted reality which ultimately put expectation be lifted and hope is whipped.
3. we should not judge ourselves by others. when the second try to be first and failed but if the fourth try to be third and win, he will be happier than the second. because poor comparison leads to sorrow.
4. nothing is unexpected when you expect everything.
5.  always choose the Land of possibility over the world of expectation.
6. accept, accept, accept No commitment gives us what we expected and that's a fact.
   
   

  So as far you must understand why to expect and what to expect. you can be like a mirror who shows us what we expect or can be like government, let's not talk about that.
  I mean expectation follows you until your funeral, even you die people will expect you to be happy in the afterlife. when you let go of the expectations and you will be unstoppable then that's will be exhilarating.
  THANK YOU FOR VISITING and I am EXPECTING your comment.